get past myself, my hang-ups, and my introspection (which is really no fun at all)...and move onto larger more wonderful pursuits. I want to write about things that really matter, instead of writing in order to sort out my own seemingly contradictory thoughts about life and things that matter. I want to get out from under the guilt and shame that try to attach themselves to me; I want to walk in the freedom that has already been purchased for me. I want to dance without caring what people think, or that they can see how foolish I look. I want to live with integrity and no longer project onto others the impressions of myself that I guess/make-up in my head. I want to start living my life instead of coveting the lives of others, the callings of others. I want to be infectiously joyful, constantly grateful, and full-to-the-brim of the experiential knowledge of my God. I want to make good use of my time. Find that balance between faithful stewardship of the days I've been given, and being oblivious of time itself as I live for eternity. I want to be a good friend, one that is faithful and steadfast. One that does not run from hurt, but runs back to my friend with arms open and heart ready to forgive (and, if need be, be hurt again), trusting all the while that my heart is in the charge of One who takes good care of me. Oh to live with purpose and wonder! A purpose that gives meaning to the mundane. A wonder that sees the world through the lens of the light and beauty of Jesus.
I forget that the days that I dread and the minutes that tick by with painstaking slowness are the stuff of which my future is made. A future grace is my present beholding of truth. Accepting with a thankful heart all that I've been given...Today. And every day, I have been given the greatest gift of all- Christ Jesus is mine, despite my dirt and filth and slowness of heart. He has come to make His home inside this heart - weary-worn by the world, hardened by hurt, and scarred by sin- and He gives me a new heart. And new mercies each day. I can hardly imagine that sort of reality, it seems so contrary to the pattern of living (if it can be called that) to which I've grown accustomed lately.
Lord Jesus, forgive me. Let me behold Your beauty and grace in such a way that the rest seems rubbish to me. Let me move past my self. Let me be moved by Grace to see the precious treasure that You are. And take this life, and the days I have left, to make of it something beautiful that points to You.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
"'You are a king, then!' said Pilate." BINGO.
Reading a marriage book, at my father's behest. (Is that the proper use of that word? I'm not sure...) It's called "What Did You Expect", so I assume it addresses the expectations (probably FALSE expectations, at that) people have as they enter marriage. I'm on chapter 4 now, having finished chapters 2 and 3 last night. I must say, for being a marriage book it sure speaks to me in my singleness...
Here are a few gleanings from chapter 3 entitled "Whose Kingdom?" that I believe will benefit anyone who reads this whether contentedly single, discontentedly single, contentedly married, or discontentedly married. Or oblivious to such matters.
Paul David Tripp, the author, writes "...we are kingdom oriented people. We always live in the service of one of two kingdoms." (pg. 47-48) The first, the one we enter the world pledging our allegiance to, is the kingdom of self. In this kingdom, we rule as king, and our desires, our dreams, and our needs are of singular importance. This is also known as Living in Sin. Sin is described a few paragraphs earlier in his book: "Sin, at its root, makes us shrink our lives to the narrow confines of our little, self-defined world. It causes us to shrink our focus, motivation, and concern to the size of our own wants, needs, and feelings. Sin causes all of us to be WAY too self-aware and self-important. Sin is essentially anti-social. It dehumanizes the people in our lives: they are reduced either to vehicles to help us get what we want or obstacles in the way of what we want. They are no longer objects of our willing affection." (pg. 47)
The second, is the kingdom of God. For those who profess faith in Jesus Christ, this is the kingdom we have been saved into. By God's grace, He frees us from our bondage to ourselves, to our self-coronating sin.
I laughed as I caught a glimpse of my church's Good Friday service bulletin poking out from underneath the rubble on my desk this morning. These words were the only ones I could see:
"You are a king, then!" said Pilate. (John 18:37).
Pilate does not say this to acknowledge Jesus' testimony of Himself (or His kingdom) as true. We know this because the very next words out of Pilate's mouth are, "What is Truth?" This kind of kingdom did not make any sense to Pilate. My guess is he said it in the tone people use when talking to people that might be crazy. "So, you're the real Shirley Temple and your identity has been stolen, eh?" (this is a real-life example from my job, by the way).
Only in this instance, Pilate was uttering profound truth, and he had no idea. Words which ought to have brought him to his knees before the King of kings, were spoken in a condescending manner, not knowing Who stood before him.
And don't we do the same thing in our lives with Jesus?
There's nothing wrong with Jesus, we find no fault with Him. But we fail to acknowledge His kingship. At best, we are amused with the concept so we'll listen for a bit, acknowledge it in our own way. But when life doesn't go as planned, our allegiance to our own kingdom is exposed. We don't laugh and rest in His sovereignty: we flip out and get offended. God has violated the laws of our own kingdom, the way we wanted things to go.
And this, Tripp writes, is why marriages which started off full of love and affection go sour. When (feelings of) love dry up and the other person violates our expectations, it's a battle of one's kingdom of self against another's. The only way to aright this is to seek together God's kingdom, His righteousness. A marriage of unity and understanding and real love rests on the bedrock of joyful allegiance to Christ's Kingdom. And so it is with those who are single, too. A single life of peace and gratitude and purpose and fulfillment rests on the same bedrock. As we turn our eyes away from self, and onto Christ, making Him the object of our deepest affections, we discover a better kingdom and, more importantly, a King... Who takes care of all our needs, who doesn't give us what our sins deserve, who lovingly crowns us with grace and compassion. A King who exposes our sin, frees us from its chains, and transforms us into people who love selflessly as He does.
Here are a few gleanings from chapter 3 entitled "Whose Kingdom?" that I believe will benefit anyone who reads this whether contentedly single, discontentedly single, contentedly married, or discontentedly married. Or oblivious to such matters.
Paul David Tripp, the author, writes "...we are kingdom oriented people. We always live in the service of one of two kingdoms." (pg. 47-48) The first, the one we enter the world pledging our allegiance to, is the kingdom of self. In this kingdom, we rule as king, and our desires, our dreams, and our needs are of singular importance. This is also known as Living in Sin. Sin is described a few paragraphs earlier in his book: "Sin, at its root, makes us shrink our lives to the narrow confines of our little, self-defined world. It causes us to shrink our focus, motivation, and concern to the size of our own wants, needs, and feelings. Sin causes all of us to be WAY too self-aware and self-important. Sin is essentially anti-social. It dehumanizes the people in our lives: they are reduced either to vehicles to help us get what we want or obstacles in the way of what we want. They are no longer objects of our willing affection." (pg. 47)
The second, is the kingdom of God. For those who profess faith in Jesus Christ, this is the kingdom we have been saved into. By God's grace, He frees us from our bondage to ourselves, to our self-coronating sin.
I laughed as I caught a glimpse of my church's Good Friday service bulletin poking out from underneath the rubble on my desk this morning. These words were the only ones I could see:
"You are a king, then!" said Pilate. (John 18:37).
Pilate does not say this to acknowledge Jesus' testimony of Himself (or His kingdom) as true. We know this because the very next words out of Pilate's mouth are, "What is Truth?" This kind of kingdom did not make any sense to Pilate. My guess is he said it in the tone people use when talking to people that might be crazy. "So, you're the real Shirley Temple and your identity has been stolen, eh?" (this is a real-life example from my job, by the way).
Only in this instance, Pilate was uttering profound truth, and he had no idea. Words which ought to have brought him to his knees before the King of kings, were spoken in a condescending manner, not knowing Who stood before him.
And don't we do the same thing in our lives with Jesus?
There's nothing wrong with Jesus, we find no fault with Him. But we fail to acknowledge His kingship. At best, we are amused with the concept so we'll listen for a bit, acknowledge it in our own way. But when life doesn't go as planned, our allegiance to our own kingdom is exposed. We don't laugh and rest in His sovereignty: we flip out and get offended. God has violated the laws of our own kingdom, the way we wanted things to go.
And this, Tripp writes, is why marriages which started off full of love and affection go sour. When (feelings of) love dry up and the other person violates our expectations, it's a battle of one's kingdom of self against another's. The only way to aright this is to seek together God's kingdom, His righteousness. A marriage of unity and understanding and real love rests on the bedrock of joyful allegiance to Christ's Kingdom. And so it is with those who are single, too. A single life of peace and gratitude and purpose and fulfillment rests on the same bedrock. As we turn our eyes away from self, and onto Christ, making Him the object of our deepest affections, we discover a better kingdom and, more importantly, a King... Who takes care of all our needs, who doesn't give us what our sins deserve, who lovingly crowns us with grace and compassion. A King who exposes our sin, frees us from its chains, and transforms us into people who love selflessly as He does.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
crying out, seeking, drawing near
I'm running on about 4 hours of sleep, having gotten to bed around 2:00 this morning after picking up my friend (and roommate), Heather, from JFK airport. Normally I would be somewhat of a grumpypants after so few hours of sleep, but this morning there was something in me that decided to actually wake up when my cell phone alarm went off and to use the time I had before work to seek God.
Yesterday, as I was reading John Piper's Future Grace, I was startled and refreshed by these verses:
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (James 4:8)
"The Lord your God is gracious and compassionate, and will not turn His face away fro you, if you return to Him." (2 Chronicles 30:9)
If there are two things I can be sure of at this very moment, they are:
1) That I am a sinner in need of God's grace
2) That there is Grace to seek Him RIGHT NOW.
That He promises to draw near when I do. That He promises I will have NO LACK when I do. That He will delight me, guide me, be kind to me. These aren't just "nice ideas". They are promises from God's Word. And because He is trustworthy, His words can be trusted.
I am taking Him at His word today. I don't need to do anything special or super-human for Him to draw near to me. I recognize my need for Him and cry out- "He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you." (Isaiah 30:9)
I will never know why He chooses to bother with me- I have so little faith, so much selfishness, boatloads of pride, and doubt... yet He is patient and waits for me to come around. What an amazing, loving God He is! He alone is to be feared.
Yesterday, as I was reading John Piper's Future Grace, I was startled and refreshed by these verses:
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (James 4:8)
"The Lord your God is gracious and compassionate, and will not turn His face away fro you, if you return to Him." (2 Chronicles 30:9)
If there are two things I can be sure of at this very moment, they are:
1) That I am a sinner in need of God's grace
2) That there is Grace to seek Him RIGHT NOW.
That He promises to draw near when I do. That He promises I will have NO LACK when I do. That He will delight me, guide me, be kind to me. These aren't just "nice ideas". They are promises from God's Word. And because He is trustworthy, His words can be trusted.
I am taking Him at His word today. I don't need to do anything special or super-human for Him to draw near to me. I recognize my need for Him and cry out- "He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you." (Isaiah 30:9)
I will never know why He chooses to bother with me- I have so little faith, so much selfishness, boatloads of pride, and doubt... yet He is patient and waits for me to come around. What an amazing, loving God He is! He alone is to be feared.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
ptolemaic shift
It seems to always surprise people when they find out that life is not always about them. Imagine the shock that rippled throughout the educated masses when Copernicus, Galileo, and then finally Newton confirmed that, contrary to popular belief, the earth was not actually at the center of the universe. It was hard to swallow then, and it's still hard for us to swallow today.
What? It's not all about me?
I'm reading a book entitled "Dug Down Deep" by Joshua Harris. I've only read the first few chapters, but so far it's been a very enjoyable read. He writes in a very candid manner (punctuated by bits of humor), and invites the reader to take a look into his own spiritual journey. As he writes, "this book is the story of how I learned to dig into truth and build my life on a real knowledge of God." He brings up the point that many people claim to be Christians but lack a true understanding of the true God, that many of us live as if being a Christian means holding to a certain moral standard and agreeing that yes, there is a God out there (though his actual character and nature remain more nebulous and vague). Mostly he is there just to answer our prayer requests and make us happy. We've made God incredibly small, and made ourselves so incredibly big.
We've lost touch with the idea of a God whose holiness makes him wholly unapproachable, who destroyed 70 men in one day for staring into the ark of His presence, whose passing glory left an afterglow on Moses' face so that people could not even look at him... we treat His commands with contempt, call them "outdated". We talk all about His love for us, but neglect His justice and the fact that we fail to obey Him!
For years I have lived my life as if God was out to wait on me, to move at my beck and call. I would worship Him, but only because I thought that's what He needed me to do. Like somehow He was needy for my affection or "wanted a relationship with me." Whoa. Not only was that an ultra-elevated view of myself, it was a completely wrong view of the God of the Bible.
The God of the Bible is after His own glory. He is self-sufficient, not dependent on anyone or anything. He has existed (in the truest, most real sense) since before time. He is all-wise, completely good, and unchanging. His vastness is beyond human comprehension, and His character is inexhaustible. Unlike humans who need to eat and sleep to stay alive, God draws "unending energy from himself" (p. 42 Dug Down Deep) Basically, God is the very definition of life. What a neat thought! And this One who needs nothing, He chooses to give life and breath to every living creature. He is the One who sustains all of earthly life!
And I thought I could please Him or impress Him through my super-spirituality, my outwardly righteous deeds and impressive knowledge of Him. God is not impressed with those things, though. He is mostly impressed with Himself. And He wants me to be impressed with Him too. He wants to reveal who He truly is to me so that I will relate to Him rightly. My response ought to be worship.
The problem is that my tendency is self-worship. I mean, it kinda makes sense that I would naturally think that life was all about me...after all, I am the starting point of reality since all of life is filtered through my own eyes, my own mind. I define my own priorities, my own problems.
"But the biblical mindset...is completely opposite. Here the starting point is God. His rights and goals define reality. We talk of human rights and civil rights, but never of Creator rights...the implication was that what constitutes a problem
in this universe is not what upsets my itsy-bitsy world of clothes, sex, food, relationships, traffic, and television. No, what constitutes a problem is anything that contradicts the goals and plans of this Creator" (p. 47 Dug Down Deep).
Think about the things that we get angry about. Usually it's when things don't go our own way, when we feel our rights have been violated. When we live life for ourselves, of course we will often feel angry. But we were created to live in the fear of the Lord, in the knowledge of who He is, and with His purposes in mind. This means that we don't ask why things aren't going our way. We ask, instead, why a holy and just God hasn't struck us down dead yet. We marvel at His greatness and holiness, we stand amazed at His love and the riches of his grace. What a shift in thinking! What a freeing way to live! No longer do I need to worry about why this or that is or isn't.
The Bible promises that if we "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" God will add the rest to us. He will take care of us. But that doesn't mean that it's about us. No, no, no...it's all about Him. We just get to play a part in this story of salvation, and for that we should be eternally grateful.
I'm humbled at how patient God is with me. He graciously reveals Himself to me, even when it seems like at times my ears are completely stopped up, unwilling to hear His voice. And even when I rebel against His kingship in my life, He tarries with me, bringing revelation, correction, and restoration. He helps me to shift my me-centered focus to the reality of a universe centered around Him.
"Yes, Lord, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts." -Isaiah 26:8
What? It's not all about me?
I'm reading a book entitled "Dug Down Deep" by Joshua Harris. I've only read the first few chapters, but so far it's been a very enjoyable read. He writes in a very candid manner (punctuated by bits of humor), and invites the reader to take a look into his own spiritual journey. As he writes, "this book is the story of how I learned to dig into truth and build my life on a real knowledge of God." He brings up the point that many people claim to be Christians but lack a true understanding of the true God, that many of us live as if being a Christian means holding to a certain moral standard and agreeing that yes, there is a God out there (though his actual character and nature remain more nebulous and vague). Mostly he is there just to answer our prayer requests and make us happy. We've made God incredibly small, and made ourselves so incredibly big.
We've lost touch with the idea of a God whose holiness makes him wholly unapproachable, who destroyed 70 men in one day for staring into the ark of His presence, whose passing glory left an afterglow on Moses' face so that people could not even look at him... we treat His commands with contempt, call them "outdated". We talk all about His love for us, but neglect His justice and the fact that we fail to obey Him!
For years I have lived my life as if God was out to wait on me, to move at my beck and call. I would worship Him, but only because I thought that's what He needed me to do. Like somehow He was needy for my affection or "wanted a relationship with me." Whoa. Not only was that an ultra-elevated view of myself, it was a completely wrong view of the God of the Bible.
The God of the Bible is after His own glory. He is self-sufficient, not dependent on anyone or anything. He has existed (in the truest, most real sense) since before time. He is all-wise, completely good, and unchanging. His vastness is beyond human comprehension, and His character is inexhaustible. Unlike humans who need to eat and sleep to stay alive, God draws "unending energy from himself" (p. 42 Dug Down Deep) Basically, God is the very definition of life. What a neat thought! And this One who needs nothing, He chooses to give life and breath to every living creature. He is the One who sustains all of earthly life!
And I thought I could please Him or impress Him through my super-spirituality, my outwardly righteous deeds and impressive knowledge of Him. God is not impressed with those things, though. He is mostly impressed with Himself. And He wants me to be impressed with Him too. He wants to reveal who He truly is to me so that I will relate to Him rightly. My response ought to be worship.
The problem is that my tendency is self-worship. I mean, it kinda makes sense that I would naturally think that life was all about me...after all, I am the starting point of reality since all of life is filtered through my own eyes, my own mind. I define my own priorities, my own problems.
"But the biblical mindset...is completely opposite. Here the starting point is God. His rights and goals define reality. We talk of human rights and civil rights, but never of Creator rights...the implication was that what constitutes a problem
in this universe is not what upsets my itsy-bitsy world of clothes, sex, food, relationships, traffic, and television. No, what constitutes a problem is anything that contradicts the goals and plans of this Creator" (p. 47 Dug Down Deep).
Think about the things that we get angry about. Usually it's when things don't go our own way, when we feel our rights have been violated. When we live life for ourselves, of course we will often feel angry. But we were created to live in the fear of the Lord, in the knowledge of who He is, and with His purposes in mind. This means that we don't ask why things aren't going our way. We ask, instead, why a holy and just God hasn't struck us down dead yet. We marvel at His greatness and holiness, we stand amazed at His love and the riches of his grace. What a shift in thinking! What a freeing way to live! No longer do I need to worry about why this or that is or isn't.
The Bible promises that if we "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" God will add the rest to us. He will take care of us. But that doesn't mean that it's about us. No, no, no...it's all about Him. We just get to play a part in this story of salvation, and for that we should be eternally grateful.
I'm humbled at how patient God is with me. He graciously reveals Himself to me, even when it seems like at times my ears are completely stopped up, unwilling to hear His voice. And even when I rebel against His kingship in my life, He tarries with me, bringing revelation, correction, and restoration. He helps me to shift my me-centered focus to the reality of a universe centered around Him.
"Yes, Lord, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts." -Isaiah 26:8
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
when I sin
Yesterday, I exploded at one of my friends. My feelings (my pride) had been injured and it was completely silly of me to harbor any grievance at all, but I have been known to be irrational at times. Anyway, I brought up an issue over which I was upset and picked a fight with her about it. I was angry that something that felt so important to me seemed so petty to her. It was made worse by the fact that she could hardly even remember the details of the incident in question.
After I had gotten out all of my words, we sat in silence for a while. Then I was so ashamed at my outburst that I began to cry. Super. So not only am I a meanie, but a crybaby! (If I remember correctly, that's two of the three worst things the other kids on the playground could call you, the third being "tattle-tale").
I wish I could say I was crying because I felt repentant at my poor attitude, but in reality it probably had more to do with the loss of a certain "reputation" I felt I had established here. I imagine I give off an impression of being caring and generous and helpful and patient... when I want to. And here I was watching my so-called reputation come crashing down in one fell swoop. Sin had reared its ugly head, and actually surfaced past where it normally did. I mean, I know that I am sinful, but I think I try pretty hard to not let others know that.
Paul Miller writes in A Praying Life: "All sin involves a splitting of the personality- what James calls being 'double-minded'. If we become proud, we have an inflated sense of self that has lost touch with who we really are. If a husband watches porn online and then warmly greets his wife, he has created two people- one public and one hidden. If you talk about friends disparagingly behind their backs, you've created two personalities- the loving friend and the gossipping friend. You try to keep the personalities separate by telling those to whom you gossip, 'Please keep this in confidence'" (p. 92)
If sin involves a splitting of the personality, then our aim should be to get our inner and outer lives to match. Now this is, in actuality, impossible for us to achieve on our own. That is why God poured out the wrath we justly deserved on His perfect Son, Jesus. Because of His perfectly sinless life, substitutionary death on our behalf, and resurrection from the grave, we are declared righteous (though we are sinners). All we need to do when we sin is repent.
Miller continues, "Repentance brings the split personality together and thus restores integrity to the life. The real self is made public. When the proud person is humbled, the elevated self is united with the true self." (p. 92)
In one sense, I'm glad my sin was exposed. I need to be reminded every once in a while that not doing sinful actions in the sight of other people is not the same as not being sinful. My heart (apart from the work of Christ) is desperately wicked. And only when we let others see our sin can we deal with it and be restored to purity of heart and action.
So I asked another friend, "What do I do now?" I had already apologized to the offended party, and we were okay. But I still felt the heavy feeling of guilt and shame. This other friend gave me great advice which I will now share with anyone who stumbles upon this post and actually makes it this far. She said that I ought to thank God that He took care of my sin and its ultimate consequence (eternal death and separation from God) at the Cross, and that I should now live in faith that He has taken away my shame. If you're lucky, you have friends who will forgive you and accept you as you truly are (forgiven and redeemed)...but even if you don't have friends who will forgive you for your sinful actions, you can know that in the person and work of Jesus Christ, an atonement has been made for your sin. All of it. Every single one. And you can go on with your life humbled (by the realization of your sin AND by the grace of God revealed at the Cross) and confident of your righteous status in God's eyes.
We should not be surprised by our sin. The Bible says that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. This means that no one is free from sin. We always think we are the only ones who sin, who mess up, who have ugly hearts...but that is not the case. Now, that doesn't give us excuse or license to sin. As children of God and heirs with Christ we must learn to hate sin because it is offensive to the One who loves us. But we don't have to run and hide our sin any longer (think Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden when God was looking for them). We don't have to be afraid of being "exposed" for what we truly are. Only if we own up to the fact that we are sinners can we truly embrace and rejoice in the provision of the Cross!
After I had gotten out all of my words, we sat in silence for a while. Then I was so ashamed at my outburst that I began to cry. Super. So not only am I a meanie, but a crybaby! (If I remember correctly, that's two of the three worst things the other kids on the playground could call you, the third being "tattle-tale").
I wish I could say I was crying because I felt repentant at my poor attitude, but in reality it probably had more to do with the loss of a certain "reputation" I felt I had established here. I imagine I give off an impression of being caring and generous and helpful and patient... when I want to. And here I was watching my so-called reputation come crashing down in one fell swoop. Sin had reared its ugly head, and actually surfaced past where it normally did. I mean, I know that I am sinful, but I think I try pretty hard to not let others know that.
Paul Miller writes in A Praying Life: "All sin involves a splitting of the personality- what James calls being 'double-minded'. If we become proud, we have an inflated sense of self that has lost touch with who we really are. If a husband watches porn online and then warmly greets his wife, he has created two people- one public and one hidden. If you talk about friends disparagingly behind their backs, you've created two personalities- the loving friend and the gossipping friend. You try to keep the personalities separate by telling those to whom you gossip, 'Please keep this in confidence'" (p. 92)
If sin involves a splitting of the personality, then our aim should be to get our inner and outer lives to match. Now this is, in actuality, impossible for us to achieve on our own. That is why God poured out the wrath we justly deserved on His perfect Son, Jesus. Because of His perfectly sinless life, substitutionary death on our behalf, and resurrection from the grave, we are declared righteous (though we are sinners). All we need to do when we sin is repent.
Miller continues, "Repentance brings the split personality together and thus restores integrity to the life. The real self is made public. When the proud person is humbled, the elevated self is united with the true self." (p. 92)
In one sense, I'm glad my sin was exposed. I need to be reminded every once in a while that not doing sinful actions in the sight of other people is not the same as not being sinful. My heart (apart from the work of Christ) is desperately wicked. And only when we let others see our sin can we deal with it and be restored to purity of heart and action.
So I asked another friend, "What do I do now?" I had already apologized to the offended party, and we were okay. But I still felt the heavy feeling of guilt and shame. This other friend gave me great advice which I will now share with anyone who stumbles upon this post and actually makes it this far. She said that I ought to thank God that He took care of my sin and its ultimate consequence (eternal death and separation from God) at the Cross, and that I should now live in faith that He has taken away my shame. If you're lucky, you have friends who will forgive you and accept you as you truly are (forgiven and redeemed)...but even if you don't have friends who will forgive you for your sinful actions, you can know that in the person and work of Jesus Christ, an atonement has been made for your sin. All of it. Every single one. And you can go on with your life humbled (by the realization of your sin AND by the grace of God revealed at the Cross) and confident of your righteous status in God's eyes.
We should not be surprised by our sin. The Bible says that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. This means that no one is free from sin. We always think we are the only ones who sin, who mess up, who have ugly hearts...but that is not the case. Now, that doesn't give us excuse or license to sin. As children of God and heirs with Christ we must learn to hate sin because it is offensive to the One who loves us. But we don't have to run and hide our sin any longer (think Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden when God was looking for them). We don't have to be afraid of being "exposed" for what we truly are. Only if we own up to the fact that we are sinners can we truly embrace and rejoice in the provision of the Cross!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
My God, He provides for me!
So, it's been a very busy several weeks and it is only going to get worse (September is a big recruitment month for our organization, so I will be working a lot of extra evenings and weekends in the next few weeks). But in the busyness, I forgot to mention a cool incident that happened last week in which I saw God's presence and provision:
I was waiting with my co-worker at a street corner to take a bus to a nearby college to speak in a classroom and she was a little frustrated because the bus was taking so long to get there. It was probably 95 degrees out and perfectly sunny. We could both feel beads of sweat dripping down our business-casually-clad backs. We were also going to be late. When the bus finally did arrive, I realized with horror that I had not brought a fully loaded Metro card with me, and was currently carrying no cash! My co-worker rummaged through her purse and found a few dollar bills, but I remembered that the buses only accepted coins. I didn't even have a chance to pray, I was in a mental frenzy. We'd already walked a few blocks just to get here and if I ran back to get coins at the office, we'd miss this bus and have to wait another 15 minutes.
Because I was left no other choice, I began to climb the steps onto the bus, all the while wondering what I was going to do. My co-worker went in front of me, swiping her monthly pass, and I prepared myself for how I was going to explain this predicament to the driver. Suddenly he pointed at me and said, "You, don't swipe your card, give this woman $2.25 in cash. She swiped her card twice by accident, so she paid for your fare." Just like that, my fare was paid for, and because we were paying the woman in front of us and not feeding the coin machine on the bus we could pay her with dollar bills!
My co-worker, who is a self-proclaimed agnostic (and who knows that I am a Christian) said, "That worked out nicely!" I smiled because I knew it had been God providing for my needs before I could even voice them to Him.
In small things like that, God makes His presence known to me. Even when I am powerless (or should I say, especially when I'm powerless) He intervenes, sometimes without my asking, to come to my rescue. He really does care for me! And that incident positioned my heart to cry out to Him in similar situations, instead of worrying about how I am going to fix it.
About two hours later, I boarded the wrong train home and got off just in the nick of time, before the train left the station. I found a bus stop that looked like it would take me home and prayed that God would help me because I had just spent money getting into the train station that I could've spent on this bus I was about to take.
When the bus pulled up and I stepped up ready to insert my metrocard in the slot to waste yet another $2.25 the bus driver waved his hand for me to just take my seat. At first I was confused but then the lady behind me told me that the machine wasn't working so we were basically getting to ride for free. Ha! Twice in one day, God provided for me in seemingly small ways.
In the past, I might've tried to chalk this up to "coincidence" but that is because my cynical heart is so prone to doubt God's presence and involvement in my life. I am His child, purchased by the blood of Jesus, and now indwelt by His Spirit! Of course He is involved in my life, down to the minutest detail!
I pray that this little story encourages you and that you can examine your own heart and see if little seeds of cynicism have been allowed to grow there. When we view our situations with eyes of faith, we are able to recognize Jesus in areas of our lives that we did not before. I pray that our hearts would be filled with childlike faith to believe God is who He says He is, and that we would not hesitate in turning to our Heavenly Father bringing our requests and grateful hearts fo Him!
I was waiting with my co-worker at a street corner to take a bus to a nearby college to speak in a classroom and she was a little frustrated because the bus was taking so long to get there. It was probably 95 degrees out and perfectly sunny. We could both feel beads of sweat dripping down our business-casually-clad backs. We were also going to be late. When the bus finally did arrive, I realized with horror that I had not brought a fully loaded Metro card with me, and was currently carrying no cash! My co-worker rummaged through her purse and found a few dollar bills, but I remembered that the buses only accepted coins. I didn't even have a chance to pray, I was in a mental frenzy. We'd already walked a few blocks just to get here and if I ran back to get coins at the office, we'd miss this bus and have to wait another 15 minutes.
Because I was left no other choice, I began to climb the steps onto the bus, all the while wondering what I was going to do. My co-worker went in front of me, swiping her monthly pass, and I prepared myself for how I was going to explain this predicament to the driver. Suddenly he pointed at me and said, "You, don't swipe your card, give this woman $2.25 in cash. She swiped her card twice by accident, so she paid for your fare." Just like that, my fare was paid for, and because we were paying the woman in front of us and not feeding the coin machine on the bus we could pay her with dollar bills!
My co-worker, who is a self-proclaimed agnostic (and who knows that I am a Christian) said, "That worked out nicely!" I smiled because I knew it had been God providing for my needs before I could even voice them to Him.
In small things like that, God makes His presence known to me. Even when I am powerless (or should I say, especially when I'm powerless) He intervenes, sometimes without my asking, to come to my rescue. He really does care for me! And that incident positioned my heart to cry out to Him in similar situations, instead of worrying about how I am going to fix it.
About two hours later, I boarded the wrong train home and got off just in the nick of time, before the train left the station. I found a bus stop that looked like it would take me home and prayed that God would help me because I had just spent money getting into the train station that I could've spent on this bus I was about to take.
When the bus pulled up and I stepped up ready to insert my metrocard in the slot to waste yet another $2.25 the bus driver waved his hand for me to just take my seat. At first I was confused but then the lady behind me told me that the machine wasn't working so we were basically getting to ride for free. Ha! Twice in one day, God provided for me in seemingly small ways.
In the past, I might've tried to chalk this up to "coincidence" but that is because my cynical heart is so prone to doubt God's presence and involvement in my life. I am His child, purchased by the blood of Jesus, and now indwelt by His Spirit! Of course He is involved in my life, down to the minutest detail!
I pray that this little story encourages you and that you can examine your own heart and see if little seeds of cynicism have been allowed to grow there. When we view our situations with eyes of faith, we are able to recognize Jesus in areas of our lives that we did not before. I pray that our hearts would be filled with childlike faith to believe God is who He says He is, and that we would not hesitate in turning to our Heavenly Father bringing our requests and grateful hearts fo Him!
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